Hard Seasons and Grace that is Sufficient

Hellooo, October! I can't believe we are two months shy of saying goodbye to this year.

To be honest, 2015 has not been very kind to us, so I'm not sorry to see it go. In the spirit of truthfulness and transparency, I'd like to share some highlights (and low points) this year has brought, with as little self-pity or complaining as possible.*

*Unless self-pity will warrant free pints of ice cream delivered to my door. In which case I will begin my own rendition of "All By Myself" by Celine Dion immediately. Not really. I would need way more incentive to go Celine Dion on you.

Disclaimer #1: There are so many people out there with far greater, weightier, and more devastating stuff in their lives right now.  My heart is with you all, and so are my prayers. 

Disclaimer #2: With all of the crappy stuff that has happened, there has been just as much reason to be thankful, to rejoice, and to have hope. This post isn't a cry for help - I just wanted to share more openly, ask for prayer, and to thank our friends/family who have helped us so much this year.

And with that, here we go...

The Hard Things

In June, Truth had corrective surgery on his legs, and he was a champ through the entire process: struggling through his post-op pain that almost broke my heart; learning to get around in a wheelchair and was determined to be as independent as possible; not being allowed to run/jump/climb/swim for an entire summer - torture! Truth's bravery amazed us, and his recovery even more so.  

Slushies and Legos are the best cure after surgery

The cuteness. I mean, REALLY.

We were blessed beyond measure by friends, family, and our past and present church families - we honestly couldn't have made it through without so much prayer, encouragement, cards/gifts, meals, babysitting, etc. Thank you all SO much.

Legos and letters! Huzzah!

Two weeks before Truth's surgery, I herniated a disc in my neck. The pain was almost unbearable, and my arms started experiencing numbness/tinging/burning which was alarming. I began physical therapy and at first it seemed like it was slowly healing.

Then in mid-July, all of the pain and numbness came back and I also started having horrible tension headaches (probably due to another nerve being aggravated). PT was suspended, and epidural shots and nerve medication were ordered. Neither treatment has made any real significant difference, and no other alternatives have been suggested besides - possibly - surgery. Over four months later, I'm still battling pain (and discouragement) daily as we wait for more answers.

The Thankful Things

Despite this, God in His great mercy has given enough strength to continue having a rich learning experience at home! We celebrate our moments of fun and share them with family and friends, and they spur us on to keep going.

We have also enjoyed having a third part-time preK student H-man at Four Maples, and it has been such a blessing! There is just something about having a preschooler in the mix that keeps things fun.

Edible globes? Yes please!

G-bug and Truth have become extremely helpful with household chores like laundry and vacuuming, and have taken on more independent learning as they are able. G-bug has even learned how to cook simple meals (her egg scrambling and pancake flipping skills are pretty awesome). 

Jason has been a rock star through all of this. He (literally) bore the weight of Emmett's recovery this summer, and emotionally and physically cared for me on bad days (he still does). He has taken on most of the household tasks, and even painted our living room.  All while beginning a new position at work, and doing an amazing job there.

And he has done all of these things with so much love, patience, and perseverance. Jason embodies the hands and feet of Christ to our family, and he does it with little thought of himself or with any expectation of being recognized for being awesome. I love him more than words can say. 

Handsome Hardworking Hubby

The Lessons Learned

I have had to grow in being more comfortable with letting go of non-essential things, and choosing thankfulness for the ability to accomplish even small tasks. Our Flat Stanley Project is mostly on hiatus, and field trips are rare. I can't unload a dishwasher or carry a full laundry basket by myself, or clean the bathroom. By God's grace I am learning to be at peace with that.

I am relearning to trust that God gives grace and ability to accomplish His will for today, no more or less. If I physically can't do something, then I wasn't meant to accomplish it, and I must ask for help.

I have also had to learn to admit to friends when I am hurting, sad, tired, frustrated, or discouraged. 

(Did I mention that I have some of the most loving, encouraging, caring, gracious, and hilarious friends on the planet? Well, I DO. Their prayers, words of grace and truth, surprise meals, desserts, and memes/jokes have made the last few months bearable, and even awesome.)

This is the kind of encouragement I'm talking about. 

Thanks a LOT, Kathy. :)

How You Can Pray

We do have some more challenges ahead and would love your prayers:

Truth's second (and last) surgery will be scheduled in November to remove the plates in his legs, which means another month or so of recovery afterward. Please pray for peace and courage for our little Truth, and for us as well.

We are making some big decisions with my injury, possibly changing doctors and treatment method. We need wisdom in navigating the system and choosing the right medical team to actually find a cure and begin the path to real healing and relief.

G-bug has been having more struggles with anxiety, sensory issues, and (she would say) learning the cursed multiplication/division. We are considering the idea of beginning another round of IM therapy and regular pool/swim time soon which greatly helped her in the past, but that takes more physical effort and investment than we can give now. Finding healing and relief for myself will allow more effort/attention for her needs - another reason to pray!

Thank You

Thank you, friends and family, for all of your support, prayers, encouragement, and grace toward us in this year. Thank you for being understanding that we are still in survival mode and likely will continue to be so for the next few months.

Thanks be to God for His infinite love, His daily sufficient grace, and His strength that is made perfect in our weakness.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 
- Paul the Apostle (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Let's walk together this week in grace and gratitude!


Update January 14, 2016:

1) Goodbye, 2015! 

2) Emmett had his second surgery on January 4th, and is recovering well at home. He goes back for his follow up appointment with the surgeon in 2.5 weeks to get the all clear and we can hopefully put all of this behind us. So thankful!

3) My health is still very much impaired, but we have several more appointments and tests scheduled this month which will hopefully bring more clarity. I'm counting my "spoons" carefully each day and adjusting to living within wise limits. God is still carrying me through each day, each task, each choice to trust Him and not in my own strength (or lack thereof).

4) We are still chugging along with school, and are overall staying on target for the year! We're mainly focusing on the essentials, but are still finding ways to have fun. I'm hoping that next year we can add other activities back in slowly (like a weekly co-op group), but it just depends on how we are all doing in the fall. 

5) Thanks so much for your prayers, meals, notes, babysitting, and encouragements - we have greatly benefited from them!

My current laptop background image

to help budget energy to get through the day