Declutter with Less Drama - Free Printable

It's nearly the beginning of a new year, and I'm ready to say adieu to 2016 and, "Helloooo 2017!"**
**"And please don't hurt me."

Just as it has been for many others, 2016 has been a year of big ups and downs.  On the upside, school has been going really well this year. We've enjoyed weekly get togethers with other homeschool families to review content, do crafts, and perform science experiments.

Miss Alyssa always makes science fun 

Discussing forms of energy

Another big event that happened this year is that we moved into a new home, which has more room to grow, learn, rest, and show hospitality to family and friends. We now officially have a homeschool room, which is an unexpected blessing. A whole closet dedicated to school supplies?? Be still my heart!

Get schooled. 

Awkward hallway = new school library!

We feel like we've been here for much longer than a few months - the kids' room more than doubled in size and they have loved having so much space to play, draw, create, and build.

Two unfinished doors + IKEA cube shelves =

MEGA DESK

I will confess that I naively thought that more space would automatically translate into less clutter, more room, and more organization. (Look at that photo above when we first moved in! Doesn't it look tidy?)

Nope.

In our case, more space has meant more places for clutter to grow. And grow. And GROW.

I am not a perfect housekeeper. Never will be. It's a losing battle to have an immaculate, stain- and clutter-free home with actual humans in the house. However, our family (especially our kiddo with sensory issues) struggles with too much visual input, at times contributing to a lot of distraction and/or anxiety.  Having visually "quiet" spaces in our home is essential for us to function well.

So today, the kids and I had a family meeting at lunch after seeing them struggle to get their room in order after two days of hard work and effort. The post-Christmas toy surge had totally obliterated any resemblance of order in there, and they had simply run out of places to cram, stow, and stash their loot.  AND they were asking to go to Target to buy even MORE toys with their savings. WHAT?? :/

I will confess that the family meeting came after a less than productive outburst earlier in the morning when the kids went into their room to finish tidying, but they got so overwhelmed and distracted that they promptly forgot their task and started playing Lego instead. I scolded and I dropped the dreaded D-words that my daughter in particular loathes and fears: Declutter. Donate.

So before our meeting, I apologized for my outburst, prayed for wisdom and patience, and did some research. Decluttering can be hard for anyone, but it can be an anxiety-riddled nightmare for some people on the autism spectrum. Lots of change, loss of control, and inability to break down a huge task into smaller steps is just too much to handle without help. We needed a visual aid, and fast.

(scroll to bottom for link to download a free copy)

There were three key issues that we needed to address to ensure decluttering with less drama:

1) Why declutter?

Motivation isn't always obvious. Help your kids understand the benefits of having a clutter free space, and give them a vision for who they might help by giving things away nice but unwanted items to others.

2) What has to go?

Having clear criteria for when it's time to give something away is so helpful. Is it broken? Goodbye. Do I already have a Spiderman action figure? Keep one, donate one. Is it from a fast food kids meal? Sayonara, sucker. They should also have room to store the toys they want to keep - no room on the shelf or under the bed means it's time to thin out the hoard.

3) Clear goals and reward

Set clear expectations and guidelines. The phrase "clean your room" is too vague - do you want all of the books put back on the bookshelf? Or do you only care that the floor is clear of clutter for safe walking? Decide, then communicate goals clearly and precisely. Use pictures for kids who are unable to read or who respond better to visual cues.

Be sure to gauge your expectations on the child's ability and your family's needs (limit to 3-4 goals max - the more goals, the more time/days needed to accomplish them). Since we chose big goals, we only tackled one today and will space out the rest over the next week.

And to ensure proper degree of motivation and enthusiasm, a highly desired reward should be offered when all of the cleaning goals are met. Going out for ice cream is our go-to major reward for very big accomplishments.

So with the Declutter Checklist in hand, G-Bug and Truth ran upstairs to complete the most tear-inducing task on the list first: sorting and downsizing their overpopulated mountain of stuffed animals to a reasonably sized herd. Previous attempts at this have resulted in only parting with one or two fuzzy friends who were mourned over for days (or weeks) with many, many tears.

An hour later, the kids came down with almost HALF of their stuffies packed up and ready to donate. And zero tears. I almost cried with relief.

Half of the hoarde, headed to new homes

So as the new year approaches, you might be planning your own Operation: Simplify. If it would be helpful, feel free to download a FREE copy of our declutter guidelines below. Or make your own! Notebook paper and stick figures are just as effective as Word documents with bullet points. You've got this!

CLICK HERE FOR FREE DOWNLOAD

Happy New Year, everyone!

Living & Active Songs

I wanted to take a minute and share some exciting and fun news in the Shaw house!

Over the last 2+ years, Jason and I have been working on songs for children to help teach Bible verses and important truths from the Scriptures. The songs cover topics like the nature of God (infinite and personal), how the Holy Spirit strengthens and equips us, the Lord's Prayer, how humans bear the image of God in day to day life, and several other foundational beliefs of the Christian faith.

We've titled the collection "Living & Active Songs," based on this verse in Hebrews:

"For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." 
- Hebrews 4:12-13

By God's grace, Jason has brought these verses to life with fun and beautiful melodies and filled them with memorable lyrics. I have often found myself singing them around the house on days when I need to remember who God is and who I am in Christ!

We have recently begun to make recording of these songs to share, and will be posting them on SoundCloud as they are available. (For those who don't have a SoundCloud account, I am embedding the album below). I hope these songs encourage you and your children to know, love, and trust God because He is knowable, loving, and trustworthy.

 


In addition to working on this collection, I've slowly (and tentatively) begun exploring songwriting again. So far this year, I've been able to finish two songs for special people in my life. Actually, both songs were presented as birthday gifts... which probably reveals something about what I need to finish a project (mainly, immovable deadlines).

Songwriting is something that I've loved doing since I was young, but have always found a way to condemn myself out of the habit. Picking up an instrument or a notebook will usually trigger the low hum of inner reproach and self-criticisms, and more often than not it is far easier to give into the doubt and discouragement rather than press through and press on.

By His grace, God has been exposing and correcting these falsehoods in my heart and mind, primarily through Jason, dear friends, and even other musicians who are in a continual journey of growth, creativity, and battle to quiet the nagging doubts and inner-judgments.

So, here is a link to some things I've been working on - I hope to keep writing more about humanity, truth, celebration, laments, and the humor that one finds in day to day life.



Create fearlessly! And please share it. It does everyone good.

Create Fearlessly

(This was a story I shared with the Hutchmoot Facebook group "The Rabbit Room Chinwag" earlier this week. I am sharing it here to remind myself of these wondeful truths when I so often give into the fear that can crush joyful creativity.)

After asking a million questions about our weekend at Hutchmoot** this past weekend, our 7 year old Truth decided last night to become an author and eagerly began writing his first novel about a mad scientist. He carefully jotted down some general notes, drew a book cover, and even penned a "note to the reader."

When he woke up the next morning, he grabbed his notes and started scribbling down the first chapter with gusto. Ten minutes later, I noticed that he was sitting very still. Then he turned to me with tears in his eyes and asked in a very small voice, "Mom, what if nobody likes it?"

Joy of creativity was shadowed by fear. We've all been there. It was an extremely sensitive moment, and I froze.

By God's grace, I was reminded of so many wonderful truths that were gleaned from the weekend that I could share with him. Randall Goodgame and Katy Bowser's talk about children and the importance of encouraging them in creativity without shame. Sally Clarkson's exhortation to remind our children that they have an important part in God's megastory to fulfill. Clay Clarkson creating a safe space for terrified musicians to share a piece of their story through song without fear of reproach. Diana Glyer's talk about the Inklings, the importance of encouragement in creative community, and even the horrific fact that the Narnia series was almost trashed before it was even fully written because of a critical word. (Truth's eyes were huge when I told him this and he was furious with Tolkien for the next hour.)

By divine providence and provision, we could address his fears and encourage him to press on. He's now working on chapter 2 and asking how to spell "transport-inator."

Thank you to the creators/leaders/volunteers/speakers/fellow participants of the Rabbit Room - for equipping us to raise up the next generation to create fearlessly. All of your work in not in vain.

**Defining Hutchmoot is like trying to explain an indefinable something, too broad and rich to fit into a narrow category. In simple terms, it's a gathering of Christians who love expressing and/or celebrating creativity, primarily through writing, music, visual arts, animation/film, etc. (Though there were many other people who express creativity in other ways - see what I mean? Indefinable something!)  Jason and I were able to go together for our 10 year anniversary getaway, and it was refreshing and inspiring.

Spring

Small glimpses of spring are all around, and it's making us all feel a little giddy.

Hello, strawberry plant. We both survived winter, I see.

It's been a long winter in so many ways, folks. I shared back in October about how tough the last year has been. Now it's April - a new year, and the difficult season of weakness still lingers. I know that I've been largely silent about my own health - and just silent in general - partly because I haven't received clear answers, partly because it's just too hard to write at all when battling pain, fatigue, and brain fog, and partly because I didn't want my blog to become a gloom fest.

But I want to try to give an honest (and hopefully brief) update, and then will finish with a list of blessings that have grown out of these last few months.

While receiving treatment for a bulging disc this summer, I began experiencing other symptoms: deep bouts of fatigue, weakness, dizziness, chronic pain in my joints and muscles, numbness in my arms, and debilitating migraines. I couldn't drive for weeks at a time, and every small task seemed insurmountable. (Most of these struggles still exist months later.)

wearing the "Cone of Shame"

Since last May, I've been seen by four six doctors, two nurse practitioners, two physical therapists, and a massage therapist. We've tried strong medications, spine injections, numerous MRIs, bone scans, and blood tests. No clear cause could be identified, no treatments have cured any symptoms, and answers have been few and far between.

During the worst months this winter, I could barely get out of bed and care for myself, much less my family. Jason bore the weight of the chores and of our family's needs for many months. I really can't emphasize enough how kind, patient, and hardworking he has been.

School time has mainly consisted of reading, writing, and 'rithmetic. On many days, I've had to teach lying on the couch or the floor, praying with tears for strength and to get through each lesson or math/spelling concept. I struggled with guilt that my kids weren't having a rich learning experience. And for the first time in the four years of homeschooling, I wondered if I should give up.

In February, I was so desperate for any relief that I made some radical changes in my diet (primarily eliminating gluten, dairy, sugar, and processed foods while adding bone broths, fermented foods, grass fed/pastured beef and eggs, and an obscene amount of organic vegetables). It seemed to be helping to lessen some of the worst symptoms. Within a few weeks, I started feeling a slow shift in my body - I still experienced pain, fatigue, and numbness but didn't feel as "ill" as I had been feeling.

Zoodles are tastier than I thought!

I was finally diagnosed in March with fibromyalgia. I've begun another medication to help dull the nerve pain/inflammation and have started another round of physical therapy. Praise God, my new PT was able to identify that I am also experiencing vertigo, and I have daily exercises that will hopefully lead to actual recovery.  Please, God - let it be so. It's been a long, long winter.

***

I started to write this blog post back in April after I'd had several good days in a row. I had begun to think that we had finally figured out the right combination of exercises, diet, and medications to help me get back to "normal."

Now it is almost August. Overall, I am having more good days, which is encouraging! Physical therapy helped me learn to manage my vertigo and pain better, but did not cure either one. (My driving is still limited to a few miles from home.) Massage therapy has made the most difference in pain management and treating inflammation, but medication was completely ineffective. I still have to be very careful about my diet, stress levels, and activities or else I start regressing quickly. Every day is still a battle of the mind, body, and spirit.

Laughter is definitely the best medicine

As promised, here is the list of some of the blessings that have been born out of this season!

Personal Blessings from the Last Year of Weakness:

1) God has used this prolonged season of weakness to help me see how much I relied on what I did/accomplished for my sense of identity. It's been a real struggle to come to terms with this, to repent of my pride, and to realign myself with my True Identity: the adopted child of the Living God, who saved me and covers me with the righteousness of Christ. That is all, and that is enough.

"All I Have is Christ"

2) By the grace of God, He is slowly teaching me that today I must live according to the strength that He has provided, and pray that He use me in my weakness to fulfill His good purposes. These words from Paul are a continual encouragement, and my understanding of this passage has deepened in the last year:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

3) I have had to learn that I am not everyone's savior. Only God can be that. Though I am called to love and serve others to the best of my ability, I am not necessarily called to serve beyond what I am physically able to do. By setting boundaries and using wisdom and discernment, I am trusting that God is bigger than myself, that I am not always the best person to meet a particular need. I have to act on the truth He has plans that are greater than I can handle, and sometimes my role is to pray, encourage others to serve, and simply watch and wonder at His work through others.

4) Our family has received an incredible amount of support, encouragement, prayers, service, cards, and grace over the last year. My respect and gratitude for our friends, family, and church family can't be measured. It has been very humbling to receive so much and have so little to give in return.

Homeschool Blessings from the Last Year of Weakness:

1) As much as I worried about our kids' educational progress during this Year of Yuck, after reviewing the academic standards for our state we breathed a sigh of relief. Somehow, we managed to finish on target in nearly every subject. Miraculous!

2) A small unexpected blessing that came out of more unstructured/free learning is that both children have used that time to pursue their own passions and interests with more focus (and obsession, ha ha). Truth has spent a lot of his extra time creating original Lego designs, asking questions and watching videos about energy and mechanics, and playing with Snap Circuits and robotic sets that were handed down to us. He told us toward the end of the school year that he wants to be an engineer when he grows up!

 

Truth's version of the Millenium Falcon

He's a teeny bit obsessed

G-bug has also stayed busy listening to hours of audio books by Lewis, Tolkien, and Dahl, which has greatly improved her listening skills, comprehension, and oral communication. She has organized puppet shows and plays, written letters to friends and family, and kept research journals to organize facts learned while reading stacks of Magic Tree House books. She's also rediscovered her love of nature and astronomy, exploring our back yard and amazing us with facts about insects and space exploration. We've wondered together at the diversity and intricate nature of the food web in different climates, and tested our knowledge while playing the Planet Earth game again and again. We spent a week reading books about Mars rovers, the planets, and watched the movie Hubble. Together we wondered at the unimaginable size of the universe.

Lego construction of the Mars rover testing

 Good turnout to watch the terrain testing

Compare to photo of actual testing for comparison

Photo Source

3) The kids have continued to grow in their ability to help with tasks and chores for Mom, and to take ownership of their own learning. They gather their own supplies, help keep track of what lessons need to be completed for the week, and are learning that they must be self-motivated to complete a task since Mom often isn't strong enough to will them to finish everything. (They have also learned that the consequences of not staying focused are longer school days, while finishing quickly allows for more free learning time!) 

4) I have learned that school doesn't have to be Pinterest-worthy or blog-worthy to be beneficial or worth celebrating. I don't have to have it all together to be a good teacher. And honestly if we survived (and thrived) through the year we've just had, then I think our family, our kids, and their education will be just fine.

Please continue to pray for us, as we are in the midst of some more big changes (I'll save that for another post, this one is ridiculously long already). And thanks for following our family's adventures and misadventures! May God be glorified in all of it.